The way you think is opposed to the father principle of limits, discipline, responsibility, perseverance, time and timing, and the need for success. Unless otherwise mitigated by a strong Jupiter in your chart, you are fearful when communicating with authority figures and with those from whom you need something, or of speaking or writing in ways that further your independence or success.

You fear that others will become more successful than you, and your preoccupation with the competition can help make that fear a reality. Develop your own talents and tend to your own affairs and you will be appropriately recognized and develop the security you need in yourself. A fearful way of viewing the world tends to make one defensive and opinionated, ultimately resulting in isolation and alienation. To the extent that you become aware of this tendency in yourself the less control it will have over you.

Your education may be interrupted by situations beyond your control, but what you gain from books and life will more than compensate. The world seems to present obstacles and delays to your plans, particularly those for travel. If Saturn or Mercury is in the first or third house your early life was serious and unhappy. There is separation from or problems with relatives, especially if Mercury or Saturn is in the third or fourth house. You may also have to take care of one or both of your parents later on.

Your memory may not be good, and you may have difficulty hearing what others say, even though there's nothing physically wrong with your ears. Perhaps this comes from closing them to opinions that differ from your own? Smoking is ill advised.

You tend to get stuck in mental ruts, like feelings of inferiority or "The world is out to get me." Since you are already attracted to negative and depressive thinking, putting your attention on the positive things in life would be very helpful. Remember, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." You are very intelligent, and through patience and persistence have the capacity to stand apart from and defeat your fears. Personal planets in Aquarius, a first or tenth house Uranus, and/or Uranus conjunct, trine or sextile a personal planet would help you to gain perspective on your ways of thinking.