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Personalized gift - unique birthday gift astrology reading #2:
So you have tremendous energy, sensitivity, and the cosmic consciousness for the job. So is there a fly in the ointment? Of course there is, or you wouldnít be here. And I donít mean employing me as an astrologer. I mean here at all, on Earth. As Iíve meditated on the gestalt of your chart, Carla (and believe me, Iíve meditated on it; this is my third rewrite), Iíve slowly come to the conclusion that there are two primal, polarized themes in dialogue within you: that of freedom versus responsibility, and that of power versus fear. (This could also be stated as one polarity in two expressions, but I think this choice may be clearer.) Here is how I see this represented within you.
Uranus on the ascendant makes you the very ambassador of freedom on Earth. You value the spirit over form, and are original, rebellious, non-conformist and unconventional. This is reiterated in a negative way by Venus opposed Saturn, symbolizing that your value system brings you into conflict with authority, and that you seldom appreciate the law in many of its expressions and challenge it frequently. Mars on the ascendant also has to have itís own way, albeit its freedom can be somewhat anal and martial: nothing like forcing everyone around you to do 100 pushups! The Moon trine Uranus and conjunct Neptune also speaks of freedom, but here itís the transpersonal versus the personal. The Moon by itself couldnít be more personal -- your emotions, body, mother, family, home and past -- but conjunct Neptune youíre being asked to sacrifice all those things for the larger commonweal of mankind, to put aside your personal needs and feelings for humanity at large. And trine Uranus symbolizes that your consciousness is being raised to a new and higher level, again asking you to let go of more of what is personal to be able to empathize with and represent mankind more universally. Thatís some of the freedom part of you, in various flavors.
The responsibility part of you is not hard to identify. Youíre a Capricorn for godís sake! (I should say ďfor your sake,Ē since I believe each of us chooses our incarnation within limits imposed by what we have learned and have yet to learn. So all these astrological symbols are descriptive of you and your choices, not causative.) Who could be more responsible, reliable, dependable, disciplined, and persevering than a good olí Capricorn? This is emphasized by Saturn in the first house. Bob Dylanís ďI was so much older then, Iím younger than that now.Ē could be your song. Saturn in the first house often symbolizes that you were born old, had a difficult life and many responsibilities as a youngster, and are/will be given the opportunities to experience youth as you grow older. And as you mature into yourself and your life you will be able to give yourself some of the freedom and parenting you lacked as a child. Saturn in the first tends to turn inward and introvert some of the tremendous outgoing energy symbolized by the aforementioned Mars-Uranus conjunction on the ascendant. Mercury in Capricorn also accentuates the responsibility/serious side of you through your mind and thought processes. Your mind is serious, practical, skeptical, clear and analytical. You have a good memory and powers of concentration, as well as a fine attention for detail. And you tend to worry, to be moody, or even fearful where material things are involved. Thatís some of your freedom-responsibility polarity. The power side of your power-fear polarity is symbolized by your Mars-Uranus conjunction on your ascendant. Itís hard to imagine a symbol of greater power in terms of ego identification and the need for self-expression. You need to let your great energy out in order to be healthy and well integrated. You need to let those around you know see and feel your power and its expression in order to us be yourself. For the reasons previously stated, you are a lightning strike of healing energy, and itís unhealthy for you to hold it back.
So why hold it back? The symbolism of this is expressed in the other side of the responsibility theme weíve already looked at. Aside from being responsibility, hard work, and discipline in early life, Saturn in the first house is fear. It symbolizes a chilling, contractive tone to ego and self expression, or more precisely, that there are reasons and a past as to why you withhold.
Additionally, thereís Venus opposed Saturn. Itís an excellent position for artists and dancers, linking aesthetic principles with perseverance, hard work and discipline. In the personal realm, however, you may have to experience disappointments in love and in relation to money because of an unrecognized fear within causing you to separate and to wall yourself off. Venus rules love, money, and the principle of attraction. Your ability to attract love and wealth is directly tied to your ability to give love and to share. And difficulties here may not necessarily be related to self-centeredness or selfishness, but rather to fear. Youíll sometimes work hard for certain material or emotional ends, but the results will be negligible compared to the effort youíve put in. That could esoterically be attributed to a karma of relationship or love, but it would be more precise to say that the determinative vibration youíre giving off in those instances is a deep, unrecognized fear.
Since Venus is in the seventh and Saturn is in the first, youíll attract partners from whom you could potentially benefit, both emotionally and financially. This is otherwise a very favorable position for partnerships, harmony in relationships and a happy marriage, to the extent that Venus is not weakened by sign or by aspect. Weíve already discussed some of Saturnís effect on Venus. Saturn in the first house symbolizes a fear, contraction, rigidity or wall in you so that you may need (or at one time needed) to deflect the gifts and love from your partners until the source of that deflection is understood and emotionally integrated. Since Saturn rules the eighth, this is probably related to some sexual experience or attitude that youíre still trying to integrate into your psyche, if you havenít already done so.
So on the one hand you have discipline and the rule of law as symbolized by your Capricorn Sun and first house Saturn, in contrast to rebelliousness and the need for great personal (or transpersonal) freedom symbolized by Uranus conjunct the ascendant, Venus opposed Saturn, and Moon conjunct Neptune. And on the other hand, you have tremendous personal power symbolized by Mars-Uranus on the ascendant, restrained by fear and responsibility symbolized by Sun and Mercury in Capricorn, Saturn in the first, and Venus opposed Saturn. I wonder, Carla, if youíve fully embraced your tremendous wealth of power, or have been reluctant and/or fearful of stepping into the freedom of your personal plenitude. A former teacher and friend of mine said, ďWhen youíre truly being yourself, someone is eventually going to get hurt.Ē What he meant was, that as we take off the gloves and liberate ourselves to fully appear in life, that our manifestation must eventually cause someone pain. Just by fully being. Itís a fact of life and of our and their growth processes. I have found this to be true, yet greatly prefer it to the meek and pallid manifestation I had before I more fully owned my monster and stepped into myself.
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© Carl Woebcke: A personalized gift, sample reading #2, 1991-2009. All rights reserved
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